Tribute to the Inspirational Soul that was my Grandmother
As a child, my maternal grandmother was a source of inspiration and the most kind-hearted person I have ever known. I am grateful for my blessing to have been able to be so close to her and to learn from her the art of giving and finding happiness in others achievements. She shared her wisdom freely, working relentlessly to help others realise their dreams and was truly passionate about collaboration and community spirit. She was an excellent host, adored by everyone who crossed her path and admired by her friends and family.
She was born on the 12th of June 1916 to Ponnampalavanar and Rajalakshmi in Sri Lanka. Her birth name was Annamma but she preferred to be called Anna. Sadly, she lost her mother at a very young age and spent most of her childhood in a boarding school. She had a gift for learning and studied in English medium which was a great deal in those days for women in Asia. In 1939, she married her prince charming and was happily married for a decade where my mother, her oldest daughter was born in 1941 and the youngest son was born in 1951. Unfortunately, tragedy stuck when her husband died due to a young medical officer administering a fatal Penicillin injection, overlooking the recorded Penicillin allergy. She was an extraordinary woman to be able to decide not to tarnish the career of that young doctor and decided to demonstrate ultimate forgiveness. So, on the 22ndof May 1952, at the age of thirty-five, she became a young widow with five young children in a city far from her home-town.
She was offered a job in the organisation where her husband was working as she was educated and fluent in three languages – Tamil, English and Sinhalese. After consulting with family and friends, she decided to turn down the offer as her kids were young and she had no real support system in the city. So along with her young children aged between one and ten, my mother being the oldest at ten, she moved back to her native city Jaffna.
Another chapter of her life began. Despite her emotional burdens and financial struggles, she managed to send her children to private school, allowing them to live a comfortable life. By any account, providing for five children is challenging physically, mentally & financially. I could think of nothing but admire her bold nature, courage and commitment towards her children. Unluckily, her struggles did not stop there. One of her sons’ speech development was delayed and only started to speak at the age of ten. She was devastated when he decided to drop out of school due to bullying for being an older student in the class. To top it all up, while playing, the youngest son (my uncle) put something in his younger sister’s ear (my aunt). Fearing our grandmother would be upset, they tried removing it themselves, which resulted in my aunt’s ear drum being damaged, affecting her hearing for life. So now, she did not only have five young children to care for, but had two of them needing special care and support. She raised them, supported them and tendered for them till her last breath.
Then along came the grandchildren, me being the first, which I am proud and grateful for. In total, she had eight grandchildren, my brother Anojan being one of them. I can remember her as a doting grandmother and the finest one at it! So, it was apt that we all called her ‘Mummy’ as she was more like a mother to us. I would always secretly think (I’m sure it was just wishful thinking), that I was her favourite grandchild! My grandmother had eleven great-grandchildren who remember her as a loving caring individual. She was known as Mummy to our family, friends, neighbours and in fact everyone in town who knew her caller her Mummy. I can only say that she was the most gracious lady I have ever come across and was like a mother to anyone who had the good fortune of getting to know her.
As a kid, I remember her as a culinary enthusiast, trying out every recipe on the planet – having a taste for a variety of cuisines. She was a veracious reader who would read books from a variety of genres. One would find a dictionary at her bedside at all times – she had a thirst for knowledge! In fact, I recall we would often sneakily ask her for the meaning of words or synonyms, as she would readily assist and teach us how to refer a dictionary (for the young ones in the family, Yes!!! We had to refer to the dictionary). That reminds me, the only instance I have ever seen her upset with me, was when I could not spell the word ‘English’ when I was six. She used to help me with school work and encourage me to do my best – an excellent mentor and teacher.
Our grandmother was well ahead of her times in religious beliefs and philosophical thinking. She was more spiritual rather than religious, respecting all religions and cultures. She often told me “there is only one GOD and different people call him or her as they prefer”. She was a Hindu by birth but went to a Catholic convent school. She integrated with all our friends and neighbours readily and would celebrate all religious festivals, believing that it was more important to do good deeds rather than being pious, helping anyone in need and feed anyone who would enter her house with a smile.
She was fashionable and had a great dress sense! One incident in particular comes to my mind in regard to her keen eye for detail and how particular she was with her sense of style. When we had gathered in Chennai to celebrate her 90thbirthday as she was living there at that time along with my parents and sister-in-law, my mother and I bought her a saree and a blouse as a gift for her to wear on her special day. To our horror, she disapproved of the blouse saying the colour match wasn’t correct. Regardless to say, we managed to get another one stitched in time which she approved of, and of course we made sure that there was never a reason for that to happen again!
On the twenty first of April 2014, two months before her ninety seventh birthday,after a short-term illness her soul departed her body peacefully, soon after we had all gathered and spent some time together in Sri Lanka. I feel blessed to have known her and to have been able to receive her care, guidance and most of all, the abundance of love she showered. Not a single day passes by without a thought of her and a feeling of gratitude for the blessing of the most wonderful enigmatic woman in my life – MUMMY.
The journey of her life could be told in short, that is that she brought love and happiness wherever she went and to everyone’s lives she touched. I wish that you are resting in peace and have been embedded as a guiding star, continuing to bless all of your near and dear ones!!
Love you Mummy – from all of us.
Originally posted in LinkedIn on April 30, 2018
