How We React To Adversity, Part 5
Failure is success in progress.
Albert Einstein
The only way you can avoid problems at all times is by never trying anything new or evolving. Unless you avoid action nor develop you will face trials, tribulations, setbacks and failure. Acknowledging making mistakes and misjudgements can draw a line and create a conclusiveness about the adversity which can be integrated into the path to success.
You can exhibit resilience and growth by demonstrating the change in your thought, attitude and behaviour, communication and how you deal with things as you move forward. This can be achieved by learning lessons, adapting to the changes, skilfully handling challenges and most importantly evolving into a sturdier, wiser person.
Start directing your energy into creating your desired outcome and the time for overthinking and complaining is over. It is time to take considered and careful action and fill your days with following through the plan. It is all about your mindset, and you are in charge of your emotions, thoughts, perceptions, reactions and at every moment. In a nutshell, you are the only person responsible for your success, failure, trials and jubilations.
Paying it forward or giving back gives ultimate happiness and fulfilment.
The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
Nelson Henderson
Making a difference and serving others is the real purpose of our lives. We all have different methods or vehicles to achieve it.
Stage 1: Identification
Ask questions! Only by asking the right questions, you arrive at the correct answers. It clarifies where your destination is and what you need to do to get there.
First question worth asking is how you got to the present place.
What?
Dive deep into the circumstances or actions or absence thereof or events caused difficulties?
How?
Is there anything that could have been done differently?
Where?
Is there any hindering belief, habit or behaviour personally or systematically inoperative?
Once you identify and understand the above, you can accept and grow in the right direction utilising the appropriate tools.
Stage 2: Personal Attributes
Attitude, Commitment and Motivation
- What is your mindset? Are you the half full or the half empty person?
- How is your perception of your competence? (self-efficacy, a term coined by Albert Bandura, a child psychologist).
- Do you embrace new opportunities?
- What are your long-term options? Do you follow through with your goals and desired changes? Or do you use excuses instead of finding leads? (sense of meaning and purpose)
- Do you thrive on external or internal motivation?
Feel secure and confident and to honestly believe that there are resources and choices.
Stage 3: Clarity and Evolution
Are you clear about your purpose vision or ‘WHY’, whatever you like to call it?
Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Benjamin Franklin
It is imperative to plan the direction you intend to take, the resources available and most importantly be risk-averse. Create a new, sustainable plan considering changes are an inevitable part of life.
You will develop your own unique path meaning, you will enter, exit, and reroute processes and systems as you move forward.
If you are unclear, try a different Plan or change your Habits.
- Are you making the right choices?
- Are you making decisions aligned with you and your vision?
- Are you being proactive or reactive to events
- How are you implementing change from your experience?
Identify, evaluate and manage risk from past experiences to incorporate safe behaviours and mechanisms to ensure mental, physical and financial safety.
- Are you re-evaluating your path to success and changing directions or navigating around them?
- Are you reacting constructively?
Always remember that re-evaluating the situation regularly and reconsidering the processes are not stumbling blocks, rather part of growing wise and mature. When you review things often brings a deeper level of understanding and brings different perspectives.
Have you equipped yourself for your new challenge?
Preparation starts with self-care – health eating, physical exercise and sufficient sleep.
Have you gained the necessary knowledge base and skills from reading, courses, mentors or couches?
Stage 4: Take Charge
As Wayne Dyer eloquently explains in his ‘Motivation’ seminar that psychologists believe people who have an internal locus of control, think they control what happens to them. This makes them feel more in control, happy and fulfilled.
If you want to succeed, it is imperative to understand it doesn’t come overnight and it takes time. The progression is on-going and will sometimes change pace or halt before it restarts.
Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
Arthur Ashe
Ensure your goals are congruent with your purpose. Once you have a vision and know your ‘WHY’, it is essential to break it down into manageable chunks. Unrealistic goal setting will demoralise you and people around you.
Action
Simplify your goal and create action plans to achieve them. Take action with intention and deliberation.
- Are you acting with focus?
- Are your present habits a result of compulsion or strategic introspective thinking?
True to the old adage, Old habits die hard, and it’s difficult to resist them.
Create long term vision and short-term tactics. Take one small step at a time and achieve one goal at a time.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Benjamin Franklin
Show gratitude and celebrate each achievement (yours and others) regardless of how small or big they are. This inspires and motivates everyone involved and
Stage 5: Assistance
Seek assistance, guidance and support.
Commit to moving forward with strength, contentment, empowerment, compassion, resilience, and self-determination. Also, spread joy, peace, and light in every direction you can!
The End!
Originally published in LinkedIn on January 8, 2019
